Isabella Raine

Three months into Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and I’m already noticing big changes. Looking back even a few months, I can see situations that I would’ve handled differently had I had some DBT under my belt. Mood wise, I’ve been really happy and hopeful. There have only been a few days where I’ve felt down, let alone hopeless or angry. 

A lot of my mood and behavior has been back and forth, but I’m seeing major improvements in specific areas. I’m constantly asking myself about effectiveness before making decisions and working through my eating disorders. Right now I’m working on remembering to do ‘Opposite action.’ Doing the opposite that I feel like when I’m struggling. i.e. if I feel like I need to stay In bed, home from work, it’s very possible going to work will actually make me feel better than staying home. 

DBT is a really proactive approach to mental health and is about actively utilizing the skills and tools you’ve been given to cope with anything that comes your way. 

I’m putting in the work most days and noticing the decline when I don’t. DBT isn’t a one time cure-all. It’s a toolkit you use continuously. Although going through this therapy does feel healing in itself, it’s mainly about the tools you learn that you’ll then use for the rest of your life. 

With just three months of DBT, I’m feeling like my goals and dreams are achievable. I’ve had a really good week where I didn’t comfort or binge eat and overall, I’ve definitely been engaging in those behaviors less. I feel more in control. 

The more I learn in DBT class, the better I get and the more secure I feel. 

I went from googling binge treatment inpatient services to realizing I haven’t binged in a few weeks and that DBT is going to help enough that I don’t think I’ll need something like that.

I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with food for a really long time. Using it to cope or give myself a way to feel something. I remember voicing a few years ago that food was there for me when nobody else was, and I think that really hit a key part of the problem. The lack of good interactions and intimacy. Feeling lonely or numb and trying to fill the hole with something.

I’m currently using dialectical abstinence as a guide. I’m removing foods that tempt the behavior from my house, finding alternate ways to fill that hole or sensation, urge surfing, and asking myself if it’s effective. All in all I’ve not been binging and have been comfort eating significantly less. 

Outside of my eating issues, I’ve been working on feeling more present and going through life feeling like a robot less. This has also been an area of massive success as I’m having whole weeks feeling present in time and in my emotions. Dissociation is at an all time low and on top of that, my suicidal ideation has pretty much disappeared from my radar. 

I can’t even imagine how I’ll feel after six months– having gone through the book one full time and learned all of the skills, or how I’ll feel after 14 months going through it twice. A little over three months and I feel a world away from where I was last summer. I walk away from every class and session fascinated by the things I’m learning and implementing them right away, or sharing them with others.

I’m excited about the way I feel and the potential to feel this way on a consistent basis; working through the hard times with tools when they arise. I have events and people I'm looking forward to being better for and hopeful that as they arrive that I will be in a stable, healthier place. 

Tools and skills I've learned so far: